“It’s a shitshow / It’s the life / Yah maybe you’ve seen some better days but it’s gonna be alright”
Who: Chris Keough
What: Power Pop, Pop Punk, Emo
Where: New York, United States
Why: If you’ll indulge me for a second I wanna tell you about my favorite music reviews in the world. Not because they’re good, because honestly no music review is so good that it’s worth thinking about even two day latter, unless of course it’s Robert Christgau dismissing the entirety of King Crimson with two words (“ersatz shit”), which I to this day still don’t understand. No it’s my favorite because it’s so sad and funny contextually. They are reviews of emo and pop-punk records by Ian Cohen of Pitchfork Media. Ian Cohen being a relic of Pitchfork from circa-2007, he still has a passion for nasally heart-felt indie rock in all forms, but of course Pitchfork itself isn’t the same beast it once was. Pitchfork is more interested with the world of pop music, popitism, and cutting edge indie pop these days, which makes Ian Cohen look like a fucking dinosaur when he reviews things for the website.
Because the actually score of a review isn’t determined by the author, but by the website’s writing staff as a whole. So when Ian Cohen turns in glowing and worshipping review of Barely March’s newest album, they love to slap a big 7.5 on the top and give the album a collective shrug. Only further emphasizing Ian Cohen’s role at the website as its resident dad trying to tell his kids’ friends about guitar music and how it “rawks”. It’s hard not to love, in it’s own cute and kinda sad way.
You know what’s even worse than an esoteric Robert Christgau review though, a review where you don’t even talk about the music. Well, Barely March are great, and their album is the kind of mid-20s self-considered apathy and self-loathing that just perfectly compliments his very experimental pop punk sonics. I recommend listening to after getting your 4-year-degree and realizing it’s pointless, you might have to enroll this fall to get that process started…
Find Barely March on Facebook.